The hugging in church site!

Here is my story of being asked not to come to Ventura church of Christ.

I visited Ventura church of Christ sporadically and intermittently for about five years, from August 2003 to October 2008. I became friends with the preacher who is Dave Schulze and we are still friends.

At first I probaly would have not gone so much, but there were two factors. One, the church was exceptionally nice to me and forwarded me some funds when my vehicle had broken down in the fall of 03. Also, as I got to know Dave Schulze better, and as he and I would at times talk on the phone, he would often say that he hoped to see me at church on Sunday. So, at times I visited the church. And there were some very nice people there.

At first when I visited the church, I did not observe people hugging much, if at all. And I somewhat simply followed along in what they were doing, which was, not to hug, generally speaking. However, as the years went by, either some people hugged more, especially among the youth, or, I simply noticed what I had not noticed before.

And, being from an environment in which people hugged in greeting and having enjoyed that, I desired to hug some of these people whom I had oberved hugging.

In April or May of 2007, I visited the church during its time of food before service. As I was entering the building, there was SW, a teenage female whom I believed it would be nice to hug. We were in the hallway between the parking lot and the usual food area. We chatted briefly and then I asked, "Are you free to hug?" or words to that effect.

She said no and I went on into the food area. A few minutes later, her dad who helps with the food came and wanted to talk to me. He turned out to be irritated, and also said something to the effect that his daughter did not come to church to have conversations with adults. I am not sure of his exact words.

Anyway, he was unhappy with me. I did not know at that time if I should continue to come to the church or not. I pondered it and gradually resumed to visit the church. When I did so, over the next 18 months, GW avoided looking at me and avoided saying anything to me, which was a sharp change compared to his previous behavior.

However, though I know that GW was irritated at me, I did not regard his ongoing irritation as meaning that I should not attend or visit the church. In fact, at times I was praying for GW that God show him the right way.

In the late summer or early fall of 08, I was visiting the church. I made some persons uncomfortable. One of them I approached moderately, to offer to hug, but that person did not respond, and so I retreated.

The other one, I asked if she was free to hug. She shrugged her shoulders and we shared a partial hug. However, it concerned her uncle, who then talked to me about it, and who requested that I not hug Haley.

Anyway, I went to church on a Sunday in October 08, and one of the leadership team and Dave the preacher drew me aside. The fellow said that they wished that I not attend or visit at the church, as I had made some people uncomfortable.

My guess is that that was a mistake on their part, and I pray that God straighten things out. Perhaps, if I am right that they acted in an unwise way, God will in some way change the leadership team, and I could visit again in the future!