index

Hugging outside the Chapel

Now that the Chapel has split and I have left them, I have come to be somewhat more refrained in my hugging. It is not because I believe that Chapel hugging was wrong or unwise, but because it is easy to make some people uncomfortable. Even so, I don't do a perfect job of that, and I don't intend to. I think it is OK to challenge people in small reasonable ways!

However, what I generally do is to observe how people in a given church behave. In an environment in which no one hugs, I will tend to follow that environment. In an environment in which some people hug, I will probably offer to hug and perhaps hug.

After leaving the Chapel, I visited at various other churches. As I visited, I hoped to find the good that the Chapel had had in these other churches. Part of that was the hugging, I believed. (Now, twenty years later, there are people who once attended the Chapel who believe that our widespread hugging is inappropriate! That is not my view, but I am letting you know!) And, with some exceptions, people in churches outside the Chapel did not hug much. In fact, in some churches after the Chapel split, I would visit and offer to hug. Some people might look at me strangely and wonder what I was doing.

In 1989, one church that I began to visit was Northwest church of Christ, one of many churches of Christ. The churches of Christ are not a denomination, but part of what is called the Restoration Movement, with forefathers Alexander Campbell and Barton Stone. In the Restoration Movement, churches were usually self-governing and had no additional rules other than the Bible. One result is that each church of Christ may be somewhat different in various ways from other churches of Christ. The purpose of the Restoration Movement was to go back to the New Testament way of things. To some degree, this resulted in many local churches having greater autonomy and flexibility than in many denominations.

By around 1900, the Restoration movement was splitting into 3 groups: the churches of Christ, the independent Christian churches and the Disciples of Christ. The Disciples of Christ became in effect a denomination and one which has become more liberal with time. The churches of Christ and the Christian churches tended to split based mostly on the use of musical instruments, but Christian churches are sometimes more liberal in other ways also. The churches of Christ that I know tend to uphold the idea that baptism is for the remission of sins. There are some independent Christian churches which have lost or deemphasized this idea, but there are others which uphold it, I believe.

Some churches of Christ do use musical instruments. Some are more strict or conservative in other ways than others, in terms of Sunday schools, using one cup in communion, having a kitchen in church, missionary societies and support, Bible colleges, etc.

In some of the churches of Christ I have visited, I observed no one hugging. In most of the churches of Christ I have visited, I think at least some people hug, but I could be wrong as to whether it is most or only some. People in these different churches have differing unwritten approaches to hugging.

Northwest church of Christ had a significant amount of its membership from the college outreach at the UW. At this church, I offered to hug and did in fact hug at least some people there. It has been many years since I was there. I forget if, at this church, I hugged mostly women, or if, my hugging of people included both men and women. However, at this church, at least some of those I hugged responded by hugging, but with what some call an A-frame hug. That is, the woman or man would lean the upper body forward, so that the lower body was more separate from the other's persons lower body.

After the Chapel split, and as I was visiting various churches of various kinds, I found that many I knew in the churches of Christ manifested much fruit of the Spirit, Galations 5:22,23. So I tended to visit them, when visiting a church, although I believed that they were in error if they denied the continuation of spiritual gifts. Otherwise, they often tended to be very nice and sometimes caringly good or wonderful people, I thought.

In terms of hugging women and hugging both men and women, at the Chapel we hugged everybody: men, women, married, single, pretty, unpretty, old and young. At least, at the Chapel, I hugged everybody without distinction. (That is, I hugged all, but was probably more affectionate with some women.)

Since the Chapel, I would never turn someone away who was offering to hug or seeking to hug. And at times outside of the Chapel, I have in fact offered to hug and hugged guys. However, I am human, and I regard some girls and some women as pretty. The truth is that when I see females and, to some extent, even more when they are pretty, I am somewhat more inclined to offer to hug. Also, it seems that men themselves that I have observed are less likely to hug other men, in the churches of Christ, even if they do hug women.

The hugging in church site!
Home	Chapel Hugging	Outside Hugging


Hugging outside the Chapel Now that the Chapel has split and I have left them, I have come to be somewhat more refrained in my hugging. It is not because I believe that Chapel hugging was wrong or unwise, but because it is easy to make some people uncomfortable. Even so, I don't do a perfect job of that, and I don't intend to. I think it is OK to challenge people in small reasonable ways! However, what I generally do is to observe how people in a given church behave. In an environment in which no one hugs, I will tend to follow that environment. In an environment in which some people hug, I will probably offer to hug and perhaps hug. After leaving the Chapel, I visited at various other churches. As I visited, I hoped to find the good that the Chapel had had in these other churches. Part of that was the hugging, I believed. (Now, twenty years later, there are people who once attended the Chapel who believe that our widespread hugging is inappropriate! That is not my view, but I am letting you know!) And, with some exceptions, people in churches outside the Chapel did not hug much. In fact, in some churches after the Chapel split, I would visit and offer to hug. Some people might look at me strangely and wonder what I was doing. In 1989, one church that I began to visit was Northwest church of Christ, one of many churches of Christ. The churches of Christ are not a denomination, but part of what is called the Restoration Movement, with forefathers Alexander Campbell and Barton Stone. In the Restoration Movement, churches were usually self-governing and had no additional rules other than the Bible. One result is that each church of Christ may be somewhat different in various ways from other churches of Christ. The purpose of the Restoration Movement was to go back to the New Testament way of things. To some degree, this resulted in many local churches having greater autonomy and flexibility than in many denominations. By around 1900, the Restoration movement was splitting into 3 groups: the churches of Christ, the independent Christian churches and the Disciples of Christ. The Disciples of Christ became in effect a denomination and one which has become more liberal with time. The churches of Christ and the Christian churches tended to split based mostly on the use of musical instruments, but Christian churches are sometimes more liberal in other ways also. The churches of Christ that I know tend to uphold the idea that baptism is for the remission of sins. There are some independent Christian churches which have lost or deemphasized this idea, but there are others which uphold it, I believe. Some churches of Christ do use musical instruments. Some are more strict or conservative in other ways than others, in terms of Sunday schools, using one cup in communion, having a kitchen in church, missionary societies and support, Bible colleges, etc. In some of the churches of Christ I have visited, I observed no one hugging. In most of the churches of Christ I have visited, I think at least some people hug, but I could be wrong as to whether it is most or only some. People in these different churches have differing unwritten approaches to hugging. Northwest church of Christ had a significant amount of its membership from the college outreach at the UW. At this church, I offered to hug and did in fact hug at least some people there. It has been many years since I was there. I forget if, at this church, I hugged mostly women, or if, my hugging of people included both men and women. However, at this church, at least some of those I hugged responded by hugging, but with what some call an A-frame hug. That is, the woman or man would lean the upper body forward, so that the lower body was more separate from the other's persons lower body. After the Chapel split, and as I was visiting various churches of various kinds, I found that many I knew in the churches of Christ manifested much fruit of the Spirit, Galations 5:22,23. So I tended to visit them, when visiting a church, although I believed that they were in error if they denied the continuation of spiritual gifts. Otherwise, they often tended to be very nice and sometimes caringly good or wonderful people, I thought. In terms of hugging women and hugging both men and women, at the Chapel we hugged everybody: men, women, married, single, pretty, unpretty, old and young. At least, at the Chapel, I hugged everybody without distinction. (That is, I hugged all, but was probably more affectionate with some women.) Since the Chapel, I would never turn someone away who was offering to hug or seeking to hug. And at times outside of the Chapel, I have in fact offered to hug and hugged guys. However, I am human, and I regard some girls and some women as pretty. The truth is that when I see females and, to some extent, even more when they are pretty, I am somewhat more inclined to offer to hug. Also, it seems that men themselves that I have observed are less likely to hug other men, in the churches of Christ, even if they do hug women.

The hugging in church site!

Hugging outside the Chapel