The hugging in church site!

Greetings and welcome!

Hello and welcome to David's instructional page on hugging in church. Of course, there are some people who believe my instructions are bad. Maybe this is really David's morally bad instructional site! Oh, David bad!

If you wish, consider this quotation,

Some years ago, my wife and I changed congregations after a church split. Our previous congregation had been far more outwardly expressive in greeting one another. Hugs were the order of the day. Our new congregation, while having many wonderful characteristics, was far less expressive. A couple of months after we joined, I had the opportunity to have a role at a men’s retreat. I decided to talk about the things I missed about our previous church, and one was the friendly hugging that had been common. It was as if a veil had been lifted, and people immediately overcame their hesitancy toward showing emotion and their Western feelings about personal space. Slowly, outward expressions of genuine love spread through the congregation. I was glad to have been an instrument for that.

And another one from a teenage female:

My church has banned hugging between opposite sexes. i really need prayer with this because hugging people in my church makes me feel loved. now, i cant hug any guys in my church not adults, nor youth. i hate this. plz, plz, pray . . . [Ten days later] Me and my sis have come up with something. my youth leaders let their favorites be excluded from the hugging rule, so, as of friday night, me and my sister have dropped out of youth group for a month. and we are gonna hug whoever we want.

Here are comments from a youth worker,

In my youth group, just about everyone hugs everyone at the end of the Wednesday night meeting. These aren't those ridiculous "side hugs" either, they are full-on embraces. Now, not everyone is required to hug, and some kids do shy away -- at first. But once trust has been developed, we have to kick them out of the meeting room because otherwise they'd be hugging us and each other all night!

And here is what Erasmus of Rotterdam wrote about England in the 1500s:

When you arrive, everyone kisses you; at your departure they bid you goodbye and kiss you; you come back, then fresh kisses.  You are kissed when you meet anyone and so, too, when you separate. . .  if you have only once tasted how delicate these kisses are . . . you would want, my dear Faustus, to be banished to England for time and eternity.

I am taking a class in website design and figured it would be fun and useful to build several sites. One site I figured I would build is on the topic of hugging in greeting in church. I have two major purposes this site. I hope to explain to some few others what I experienced and how I perceive things. The other is to give readers the opportunity to explore what they wish to think about these things.

I don't mean to seem extreme or crazy, but my perception of a church that does not hug (dare I mention kissing also?) is that is like a man with one hand. The man is still a man, but he lacks something "intended."

Back in the 1980s I went to an independent Pentecostal church. The church had a lot of good and some flaws. This church was very passionate about many things. Among other things, from my point of view, the people at this church were good at loving one another. They cared about each other; they asked about each other's walk with God; people prayed for each other.

Among other aspects of their love for one another was that they were affectionate in greeting. Basically, everybody--at least, everybody I knew--at this church hugged. In fact, those who were more affectionate hugged and kissed in greeting.

Then, some of the flaws in this particular church became more severe. There was in fact a scandal and a church split and many people left that church altogether. I was one of those who left that church. After the church split, I visited various other churches. Most of these other churches did not have the many of the good things that my previous church had had. It wasn't just the hugging. It was many things. But the hugging is something that is obvious from time to time and it has even led to a minor conflict once.

I gradually--very gradually as it took forever!--reconciled myself to the fact that all these otherchurches were not going to have some or all of the good things that the Chapel had had. For many years I was alone with God and at times I have visited some churches.

One church that I have visited was Ventura church of Christ in Ventura, California. And, somehow I irritated them by having requested to hug or offered to hug a few people. As a result, in October 2008, the leadership team of VCOC asked me not to come!

I think it was actually a mistake on their part, but either time or being in heaven will tell. It is possible that at least some good things have come from the experience. Before then and since then, I have had a few other interesting visits at some other churches, and now there will be this website!

By the way, not everything on this site related directly to hugging in church. Some photos are of hugging more out in public and sometimes between friends.

By the way, before you go further, if you wish, you are welcome to click on images on this page!