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Gracefully declining an invitation to hug

Now, because we are in a society in which many people do not hug much, some people may be uncomfortable hugging a person who is offering to hug.

If in church, I suggest the following ways of gracefully declining to hug. First, even if you decline to hug, you should visually greet the other person, by looking at him and perhaps by smiling. To not look at a person who you know is looking at you is rude, I think. At least in church, it is rude, because one should at least visually recognize everybody in church who wished to be recognized.

Now, if you wish to decline the hug, there are about 4 ways to do so gracefully.

  • The first way is the simple not responding to the open arms. Look down briefly and simply not respond to the offer to hug.
  • The second way is to wave, but not move towards the person offering to hug.
  • The third way is to approach and air-hug the fellow. See the recent story of mine about being air-hugged! However, to be fair, should I call this a decline to hug, or a hug at comfort level of one party?
  • A fourth way is a midly shake your head.
  • I suppose that for some people, the way that they gracefully decline is by offering their hand--but I presume you would
    already know that one!

Please note that "waving to decline" or air-hugging are far more polite than not responding! And, if it is my offer to hug you are "declining," and if you are giving me the choice of declines, I will choose the air-hug! Thanks! LOL!

By the way, about a person declining to hug when I am offering to hug. It might help you to realize that I find the interaction to be fun, even if "you" decline to hug, if you decline to hug gracefully and you have "recognized" my offer. I mention this because I am not alone in this. It is fun to experience being around you while you decide how to respond to the offer to hug!

An air-hug or a wave or even a smile while not approaching recognizes my offer. To look at me and then look away is sad. To not look at me at all is rude. I was once in a church seated on a chair where people passed by. A young girl was walking by in front of me; I opened my arms. She saw me and shook her head and continued, and that was nice and OK!