chapel xoxo

A normal Chapel hug

I don't know enough to know if this was good or bad, but here is how "we" hugged at the Chapel.
At least, this is the way I hugged at the Chapel, though others have told me that they were less warm while there!

Offering to hug!

offering to hug When a Chapelite was greeting a friend he had not seen for a few days or a week, and often when he was saying goodbye, he would reach out with his arms to embrace the other, and to draw that person in. If the other person was merely an acquaintance or perhaps even a person he did not yet know, a Chapelite might extend the arms or, perhaps depending on a far distance, wave. The arms being extended was an invitation and an offer to hug.

Here we see persons offering to hug in various ways. Offering to hug at the Chapel was like that. One began by waving a person over or by extending one's arms or by placing one's arms on the shoulder or back. In some few circumstances, one might be offering to hug a person who was preoccuppied for some reason, and one might make the offer less obvious than we see here at right. As the offer is made in a less obvious way, a person who is in a hurry--or who doesn't feel drawn to you for some reason--might choose to not pull in and embrace you, and that is OK. By making the offer less obvious, one gives the other the opportunity to gently decline without directly ignoring your offer and perhaps offending or hurting you.

But nearly everybody at the Chapel would respond to your offer to hug. Hugging was so common that it was often extended to a person you were just meeting for the first time. If both of you were "in" the Chapel then you could make the reasonable guess that the other person was familiar with hugging, for he or she would already have seen dozens of hugs, and was perhaps even knew about hugging before coming. And if you wished to hug him or her, just ask (by extending your arms) and you shall receive!

heartplain There were a number of people I hugged before I learned their names. Back in the Chapel years, there were many occasions for me when I would be in the pew worshipping. And I would see someone I did not know to my left or my right or in the pew front of me and I would reach out and we would hug. Top

Embracing

The two persons now pull each other in and embrace each other.

red heart Here we see Nick Jonas embracing Demi Lovato! Probably, this hug isn't finished yet. In a normal Chapel hug, both hands will be placed on your friend's back.

Also, in a normal Chapel hug and as we see here, usually the faces of each person remain face forward. In fact, their faces may be next to each other; they may be cheek to cheek.

If we look over at Nick and Demi, we see that both of their bods are upright and neither of them has any obvious "lean."

Now, I think that the hug of Nick and Demi looks like what I might have seen or given at the Chapel. Top

tight hug Here we see two guys hugging at a swimming competition. Are they from Latin America or Latin-speaking Europe? I don't know. I am guessing so. Do American men hug like that at sports events? I actually don't watch that much sports on TV and so I don't know!

In any case, I have chosen this photo because we see their bodies tight, next to each other. Chapel hugs were like that in that respect.

At the Chapel, in a hug, one normally places both hands on the back of the other. And, with the hands, you or I might exert a gentle pressure pulling the other person "in" or close to you. Each person feels that the other person wishes to be close. This naturally leads to the bodies being close to each other. Top

Length of the hug

The next thing to note about a Chapel hug was its length. Chapel hugs were not normally short. By comparison with hugs I have given or received in other churches, Chapel hugs were long. I think that I had shared many Chapel hugs with my friends, acquaintances and perhaps even strangers which lasted several minutes.

Chapel people were people who, many of them, had spent hours in prayer, hours in study and hours in worship of God. A typical worship service at the Chapel would last for two hours, and it would be followed by "post-service fellowship." As a result, for example, for some persons at the Chapel, their worship service might last five or six hours, on a Friday or Sunday evening. They would be starting at 6 or 7 p.m. The service itself would last about two hours, and then people who wished would stay until they felt to leave or until the people in charge of the building were turning off the lights, usually sometime around midnight.

Whether it was because Chapel people believed that they had a lot of time for God and the saints, or for other unknown reasons, my hugs with Chapel people tended to last from somewhat less than a minute to several or many minutes long. At least, from what I remember, I had few or no hugs at the Chapel in which the other person pulled away from me in a short time. Top

During the hug

If and since Chapel hugs often lasted more than a minute, what was one doing during a Chapel hug?

	Normally, there was worship music in the background or worship was taking place. One may have simply experienced the hug and the worship music.
	One greeted the other person verbally, by saying, "I love you," "God bless you," and sometimes one took time to be praying for them. And there would be times of silence, before or after praying for one another.
	During many of the hugs I gave to friends at the Chapel, I was gently rubbing the other's back. I believe that there were others who did this, but I am uncertain how many.
	More affectionate friends or friends more comfortable with each other and who wished it, at times kissed each other. Most of the kissing that I remember was kissing on the mouth, but people kissed on the cheek as well, usually as part of a series of kisses. Also, a kiss on the cheek could often be "an offer" to kiss on the mouth, giving the other person the option of replying with kissing or not, as she might be comfortable.
	Now, this didn't happen often in my observation, but I think that to place a hand on someone's face while kissing can be quite nice.

Chapel kissing

Some of you may be thinking that it was obviously wrong for Chapelites to kiss, especially to kiss on the mouth. I don't believe that it was wrong to kiss on the mouth, in most instances. Maybe God thinks otherwise, but He hasn't told me! What we know is that Christians for several centuries very commonly did kiss their friends in church on the mouth, some of them passionately. There was both same-sex kissing and opposite-sexed kissing.

pink heart A lot of people at the Chapel kissed in the years I was there and some of them didn't. Some people at the Chapel made sexual or romantic mistakes and hurt themselves or others. Still others refrained from kissing and were reasonably happy with their conduct. Many people did kiss their friends and are still happy with their conduct. I myself am not sure what we might consider chaste kissing. In any case, the kissing in photo we see of these friends above would have been about normal for some Chapel friends in church. Is there such a thing as a friendly kiss or kisses on the mouth? And I don't think that would be bad. Am I blind and wrong? At least, to me, in my perspective, friends can kiss like that and still be friends, with themselves and with others.

When one searches the Net for heart images, most of the hearts come up as red hearts. Before placing the heart above near Demi, I considered placing the pink heart we see to our above right. Is the red heart right, or should I have used the pink one, or no heart at all? I am not sure. Now, we might assume that Nick and Demi's relationship is not sexual. (Of course, I don't know for sure!) I think it is possible to be lovers without being lovers in the sexual sense. I believe that many people at the Chapel were lovers of many, but not lovers in the sense of betraying their husband or wife. At least, I thought so. Maybe I am wrong, but I thought so.

reclining Given that the Chapel was an affectionate place and that nearly everybody hugged and many kissed, there was also an understanding many held that arousal might occur and wasn't a normally matter of concern. Did God think otherwise? I don't know. The Chapel had some flaws and I don't know if this was a flaw.

There are lots of situations which may have the result of guys being "embarassed" in a public setting. If and when we see it, do we smile inwardly? Do we think it is tolerably tacky? Do we think the guy is quite healthy or do we take offense? Do we hug and perhaps kiss despite an occasional tacky image?

Ending the hug

For me and for many others, the way that a Chapel hug ended was this. After a time of hugging and being hugged, one or the other would gently and slightly increase the pressure with the hands on the other's back. This was a signal that that person felt satisfied and finished with that hug, or sensed the call of other things to do or persons to see. After one or both persons had pressed a little more firmly with his or her hands into the other's back, then, both would release the other. Top

Happy Memories

I have many happy memories of hugging many of my friends. To tell you the truth, for some of them, I didn't know much about them and we didn't do much, if anything, other than that we hugged during or after worship service at the Chapel. And, while hugging, prayed or verbally expressed our love. It was good, I thought. I appreciated it and I will remember it forever.

The hugging in church site!